


All I Ever Wanted

by anythingbutplatonic



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 4x06, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Missing Scene Fic, episode reaction fic, lost souls - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-02 00:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5227250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anythingbutplatonic/pseuds/anythingbutplatonic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>God, what had she ever done to deserve this man?</p><p>Episode reaction/missing scene fic for 4x06 "Lost Souls".</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Ever Wanted

****It’s after their third - or was it fourth? - round of quite frankly mind-blowing sex that they eventually talk again.

Too sated from too many orgasms in a short space of time to do anything else except lay back and hold each other, Felicity used Oliver’s bare and still-sweaty chest as a makeshift pillow while his hand came up to stroke through her hair lazily, smoothing it back from her face in gentle repetitive movements that always made her feel.... _relaxed_. Comfortable. 

At home.

“I’m sorry I was a bitch,” Felicity said quietly, her voice small in the empty space. “I didn’t mean any of it, it just sort of...came out, without me realizing. And then I couldn’t take it back, and that only made things worse, and I just kept digging an ever-deeper hole for myself, and I....” She trailed off with a sigh, swallowing convulsively against the words stuck in her throat, words she desperately needed to get out. “I hurt you. And I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Oliver insisted, stilling the hand that was stroking her hair. “I was out of line, too.”

“I told you I regretted running away with you,” Felicity protested, her voice cracking on the words. She drew random shapes on Oliver’s skin with her fingers, speaking to the ridged muscles of his stomach rather than to him, unable to look him in the eye as shame filled her, remembering her words to him over the last few days. “I need to apologize for that. I didn’t mean it.”

“I think you did, on some level, or you wouldn’t have said it,” Oliver reasoned, his voice soft but without anger or pain. Only sympathy, and understanding. 

God, what had she ever done to deserve this man?

Felicity suddenly found it difficult to swallow around the lump that rose in her throat; she pressed her cheek to his warm skin, breathing him in, sweat and clean sheets and the faint scent of leather, left behind by his Green Arrow suit. Smells that reminded her of danger and taking risks and being loved. 

And oh, she loved him. That’s what had scared her so much, why it had felt as though she was losing herself in him. Because she loved him so much that she thought she might drown in it, be swept away with it, be blown apart from the inside out like an explosion in the eye of a storm. 

She didn’t realize she’d started to cry until she tasted salty dampness on her lips, a silent kind of crying that squeezed at her throat and ached in her chest. She barely noticed when Oliver wiped her tears away as quickly as they fell, catching the droplets on his fingers as they ran down her cheeks and chin. 

She didn’t regret trying to save Ray, nor the effort she exerted in doing so. And she was glad that he was safe and well, if a little shaken, and happy to be home (and normal-sized). But she  _did_  regret that she’d allowed her intense focus on rescuing Ray to bring her long-dormant insecurities to the surface, and in doing so, she’d inadvertently caused pain to the person she loved more than anyone else in the world. 

Truthfully? Felicity was ashamed. Ashamed of snapping at Oliver, of shutting him out, of telling him that if she hadn’t been so caught up in the whirlwind of their romance, she’d have been able to help Ray sooner. As if it were his fault that she had waited so long to find her friend. Like she blamed him.

“Hey, look at me,” Oliver coaxed gently, putting two fingers under her chin and lifting it up, so that she was looking him in eye for the first time since they’d collapsed in place, post-coitus. She blinked away yet more tears, and when she met his gaze, his expression was serious and earnest. “I don’t want you to be upset because of me.”

Felicity sniffed, rubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m not upset because of you. I’m upset because of  _me._ I let my insecurities get the better of me, even though I told myself I would never, ever let that happen, because I was stronger than that. And then I messed everything up.” She shrugged. “So I guess I was wrong.”

To her surprise, Oliver smiled. “Felicity, it wouldn’t be the first time that either of us let our issues get in the way of being happy. Do I regret it? Yeah, I do, because it meant that I couldn’t give you what you wanted, even when I wanted to the most. But I also think that it was good that we had those tough times, that we had to go through what we did just to be together. It helped me realize that I needed to be in a better place if I was ever going to give you what you deserved.”

“I don’t need extravagant gestures or big fancy gifts,” Felicity whispered. “I never did. All I ever wanted was you.”

“You have me,” Oliver said simply. “For as long as you want me, you have me.”

Felicity surged forward to take Oliver’s face in her hands, fitting her mouth to his in a damp kiss, salty with tears. He gripped her waist, his hands hot on her naked body, as she kissed him slowly and deliberately, putting everything into the kiss that she still wanted to say.  _I’m sorry. I love you. Forgive me._

She pulled away, still cupping his cheeks. She ran the pad of one thumb over his cheekbone, watching the way his eyelids fluttered closed at the gentle touch. 

He was beautiful, and he was all hers.

“I love you,” she said, her voice breathy from the emotion she still felt, the residual feelings of the last few hours still coursing through her veins. 

Oliver opened his eyes slowly, fixing her with an intense gaze that gave her no doubts as to what his reply would be.

“I love you, too, Felicity.”

Yeah, they were  _definitely_  going to be okay. 


End file.
